Mila Stories 14: Same old, same old

I’ve been receiving a lot of Mila Stories requests lately. Sorry naman! Mila is uber busy with her apo that she barely had time to crack some jokes. Puro funny and kulet antics nalang ni Skye ang bukambibig ni Cupcake lately. So medyo matagal bago makabuo ng 3 episodes. Next time, I’ll also include some of the funny antics of my other family members – Mila and Friends na ang peg. :)

MAHANGIN

Mila owns a small sari-sari store at home. So a part of our living room is full of her paninda. May nakasabit na chichirya sa taas, may instant coffee, etc. etc. You see the picture? So, all of us are downstairs including Skye who’s sitting happily on her baby bouncer gifted by her Ninang Jerellt.

Mila (to Baldo): Anak buksan mo nga yung electric fan, pawis na pawis na si Skye.
Baldo: (opens the electric fan)

Eh super lakas ng hangin! We have an industrial fan on our living room kasi walang aircon so imagine how mahangin it is to the point na nagliparan mga paninda ni Mila. Hahaha!

Mila (galit): Ano ba naman yan! Ang lakas lakas naman kasi ng electric fan mo eh!! Dapat number 3 lang!
Baldo (clueless): Huh?! Eh number 1 nga lang yan eh.
Mila: Kaya nga malakas!!!! Dapat number 3 mo!!!

So apprently, sira ang fan sa baba. Yung number 3 yung pinaka mahina and the number 1 yung pinaka-malakas. At si Mila lang nakakaalam nun! Nyahahaha! Ang joke dun, eh sya pa galit! Ang cute. :)

TIPS TO GET PREGNANT

I was asking Mila on tips how to get pregnant so I could share it with a friend.

Mila: Inom sya kamo ng beer.
Me: Totoo ba yun?
Mila: Oo naman! Inom din kamo ng beer asawa nya?
Me: Ganun? Para super effective dapat pareho sila? Totoo ba yun?
Mila: Syempre! Maniwala ka sa akin.
Me: Sige sasabihin ko nga yan, no harm in trying naman.
Mila: Oo tapos sabihin mo, NOOD SILA NG BOLD AFTER UMINOM NG BEER!
Me: Nyahahahaha! Kadiri ka alam mo yun?

SEBUHIN

Sissy, Mila and I are talking about Sissy’s crush.

Me: Tangeks! Papuntahin mo dito. Lasingin natin, para ma-rape mo na.
Sis: Ayoko nga. May girlfriend yun no. Two Wives lang?
Me: Girlfriend palang naman. Pero sabagay masama yun. Antayin mo nalang muna magbreak bago mo papuntahin dito at lasingin.
Mila: Oo nga dapat lasingin mo pag broken hearted para mas matindi ang tama ng alak.
Me: Para ma-rape nya ng husto no?
Mila: Hindi! Para hindi nya maalala ang SEBUHING katawan nyang kapatid mo kinabukasan.

** Images are all from google.