I don’t remember the last time I spent Valentine alone. It was so long ago I suppose.

I hate Valentine actually. I would always specifically tell my “special someone” not to give me flowers or anything on Valentine because I don’t want to be that smug girl carrying a bouquet of flowers that’ll cause allergy attacks to the girl sitting beside her. Ugh! But somehow, knowing that I have a “Valentine”, someone who loves me dearly, gave me so much comfort and happiness then.

Now, I don’t know what to feel. Hahahahaha! I just can’t imagine myself saying this actually. I’m in my late 20’s for crying out loud!!! Oh Aubrey, get a grip! Kidding!!

Yes, I don’t know what to feel but pain is not part of my options. I am actually happy. Happy and maybe a little sad at the same time. And well, a bit jealous and uhm, add a teaspoon of confusion to the concoction. But one thing I am sure of, I deserve this break. My poor, old, battered, shattered heart deserve this break so much. And I know that she is happy that I am finally giving her a rest. Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone. Distance yourself from the things that you are so familiar with. Be somewhere new. Try something new. Embrace the freshness and raw feeling of the inevitable.

This time I will try to focus on myself and enjoy this weird lifestyle -  singlehood. I am a strong woman and I want to believe that I don’t need anybody to make me happy. But I know I’d kill myself first before you hear me say those words. Or well, most probably my bestfriend would kill me first before I even get the chance to hold the knife. Malamang sasabihin nun habang sinasaksak ako, “echosera ka! Ikaw? Don’t need anybody? Charot!” Hahahaha…

But no seriously, someday I hope I can go back to this blog post and tell myself how ridiculous I used to be. I hope when that time comes, I can just smile and shrug this off as yet another phase in my life. It is very difficult for me to write this but I have to admit it and publish it so there’s a proof that I did say it – I can feel it breaking…

My Birthday just ended. It’s the wee hours of the morning and I’m here writing a thank you blog even though I’m supposed to be asleep for another busy day at work. :) I just need to. While my adrenaline’s still high and everything’s fresh.

I had a blast of a birthday. Details would be posted soon. However, let me put a separate entry for my thank you to that great last year!

I travelled a lot, been to many places. Seen loads of different beautiful places and things. Tried a whole lot of new things and adventures. Acquired more experience. Been a little wiser. Had my fair share of ups and downs. Met loads of new friends. Re-united with a couple of old friends. All in all, I had a great year. I didn’t won the lottery or something but it sure felt like that.

I am the type of girl who never expects. Thus, when blessings come my way, I feel so thankful and joyful. And that is exactly what happened to my past year.

To the people who made my year extra special, THANK YOU! To those who loved me and continues to love me, double THANK YOU!

I’m excited for the year ahead. I know we’ll all have a great time. But for now, let me live, love, laugh and learn from life!

Happy Birthday To Me! :)

And to you Big Guy Up There… Salamat po sa biyaya!! :)

I am such a John Lloyd fan. I find him adorable. And all his movies are uberly romantic.

And for the past weeks, the Twitterverse has been buzzing on the latest JL film. I’ve seen the trailer on uTube and I am very much excited to actually see the film. I know it’s just a Pinoy version of Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached but whatever!

Anyway, me and G.p and my sister and my cousins went to the cinema to watch the latest chick flick! All girls… and it was fun!

The movie as usual is hilarious! JL’s comic stint is very much cute. I know he’s not the hunk type. So every time he’d show off some skin, we all end up laughing on his baby fats but we’re all also very much attracted to him. If you know what I mean. Add Panying, K Brosas and Tetchie Agbayani on the group and it was indeed one hell of fun! :-)

The story line is very much different on the usual love stories that we’d see on Pinoy movies. I even saw a friend post on his twitter TT “na culture shock ako sa Unofficially Yours!”. Which indeed is true. Since that friend of mine is a certified conservative. I know it is very much like Friends with Benefits in all aspects but it’s still very much original for a Pinoy film. I am very glad that they indeed made something like this. I mean, casual relationships are sooo common nowadays but loads of people refuse to discuss it. This movie shows that we Filipino’s, as much as we’d like to deny it, are indeed so different now. We are becoming more accepting on the norms of life. We are becoming more open minded. We are now fierce. We are different but our morals are still very much intact.

I love Pinoy films, specially those that try to defy the norms of life. It was such a fierce move and I loved the execution very much.

I find Angel extra gorgeous in this film. And JL as usual is adorable and cute. JL’s eyes never fail to melt me and he did exactly that in this film.

This movie is worth every penny. If not for Angel and JL’s wild “sex scenes”, at least for the extraordinary love story of Cess and Macky!

Happy Puso everyone! Hindi pa tapos ang Love month so pwede pa ko humabol! :-P

P.S.: I know my review is sooo not a review. I am not a film expert. I am just a simple girl who loves to watch movie. All of these are just my opinions.

I’ve been very excited about this movie ever since I saw the trailer. Who wouldn’t?

I mean, it has everything that a girl would love: it’s a love story, it has amnesia somewhere on the story, some sweet dialogs and of course CHANNING TATUM! He would surely hunt me forever.

So finally, G.p and I watched it for our pre-Valentine date. (Note: We don’t have an actual Valentine Date.)

I’m so inspired specially knowing that it is based on an actual love story. That it is not just a product of someone’s wild imagination. That sometime ago, someone has actually experience those and was able to live a happy ever after.

There are scenes in the movie that made G.p and I cry a little. It was just that, you really could feel how much the guy loved his wife and you could feel his pain. Like a true blue emo and hopeless romantic, I was really affected by every scene.

I hear some didn’t much like it but I honestly do. The movie simply shows the story of two people. Their struggles and how they were able to win over it. It reminds us that no matter how much a mind tries to forget, the heart would surely remember.

We have loved once or twice or more and we all know know how great it is to fall in love. And sometimes, not all love story is as easy as 1-2-3. Most of the time, love is a war, a battlefield. You have to fight for it, you have to win it over, you have to gain it, to deserve it. That most of the time, you have to fight to keep what you have.

To all of you guys, here’s a little something. The movie is full of quotable quotes and since it’s my post-Valentine treat for you guys, fall in love with me all over again. Happy Hearts Day guys! Spread Love!!!

• "Oh, I'm so in love with you. It's insane."
• "I vow to always hold you to tenderness.... to live within the walls of your heart and to call call it home."
• "I vow to love you now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is once in a lifetime love. I vow to love you and no matter what challenges may carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."
• "So that's my theory. That these moments of impact define who we are."
• "The best thing to do at this point is to go back to a life with me."
• "To have the patience that love demands."
• "I chose to stay with all the right things he had done and not to leave with the one mistake he did."
• “I realized that is the important moment in my life and I couldn't just go."
• "I vow to help you love life, to speak when words are needed, to share silence when they're not."
• "My hands remembered what my mind forgot."
• "You said everything. You accepted me for who I am and not for who you wanted me to be. I just want you to be happy."
• "I'm not the old me. I'm just me."
• "I have to discover what it's like to live without you... on my own."
• "I've decided to leave law school and I decided to get an apartment in the city. This is not about you or with what you've done. This is all about me and who I want to be."
• "A moment of impact."
• "That's the thing about moments like these... No matter how hard you try to control, you just need to wait until the next collision."
• "I don't know your number by heart so I called my mom."
• "Maybe I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and remember everything."
• "Only you can dump a guy and come back with demands and answers."
• "I'm trying to help you. But I'm not your punching bag."
• "This is hard for me, too, Paige."
• "Do you wanna regain your memory?" "Yes."
• "I need to make my wife fall in love with me again."
• "You can't remember how we met and you can't remember how we fall in love... We can experience it over again."
  "But it was the greatest event in my life."
• "I miss you. I miss our life together. I love you."
• "Every thing I fall in love with Paige, it is still there."
• "We still belong together."
• "The thing is she outgrew you."
• "Your memories are not coming back. The fact is I'm still a stranger. I'm trying not to hurt you. It's just that I'm tired of disappointing you."
• "Wedding disasters have a way of turning it to great stories."
• "I hope that one day I'll begin to love the way you love me."
• "You used my accident to rewrite the past?"
• "He cheated on you with my friend. How could you stay with him?"
• "I was ready to leave. Then one afternoon, I was alone at the house and I started looking at the pictures of you and your sister. And the house seems to be filled with us. I realized that is the important moment in my life and I couldn't just go.".
• "Come home with me."
• "Are you honestly not gonna leave me alone?"
• "That's a lot to take in. That's total bullshit."
• "But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them?"
• "So we're married." "Yes." "And I have weird hair."
• "I'm just worried if she can't remember you, how can she remember she's in love with you?"
• "You'll come home where I can take care of you."
• "Her life with me is our natural routine." "Yes... and she can't remember that life."
• "To take each other as spouses forever."
• "You totally love me." "I do."
• "You know who I am, right?" "Yes... you're me doctor." *silence* "I'm your husband."
• "She can't remember me."
• "The truth is we're sum of all the moments we've experienced with all the people we've ever known... and these moments become our history."
• "I would do anything for love."
• "Hey I have a theory that a girl gets easily pregnant when she does it in a car."
• "My theory is that these moments of impact... that these flashes of reality that turn us upside down... change us."
• "One of my absolute favorite moments."
• "You have impressive powers of observation."

Exactly 7 yrs ago, God blessed our family with his best gift ever, a little angel named Newel Irvin Lance.

People who knew me would know how important that little angel is in my life. You can’t love me without loving him first.

He is someone extremely special. Not only because he has special needs and requires special attention but also because he brought so much joy into our lives.

People knew me as someone strong. But I am not always like this. Those who knew me from way back then, when I am just a simple, insecure little girl, would know how much I transformed from being that little girl into a mature young woman who needs to be strong for her brother. That little boy, that little bundle of joy made me realize how strong I can be. That I am capable of handling so much.

He made me realize how much lucky we both are for having a family like ours. He made me value my family more. He brings us closer to each other. Because we know that at the end of the day, only our love for each other would matter.

Our little baby thought me to appreciate the little things. Like a baby’s cry or a kid’s laughter or the fact that he can do beautiful eyes or that he loves cakes and ice creams. Those little details that most moms fail to recognize or appreciate are the things that we value so much.

I am extremely grateful for having him as my brother. As my own little baby. I have long accepted the fact that I’ll be taking care of him as long as he needs me and as long as I live. Today, I glorify the Lord our GOD for giving us our lucky charm. I thank the Lord for the best 7 yrs with him and is praying for more years to come.

I wont pray him to cured of his sickness but I am praying for him to be a little better. I am praying for my family’s good health so we can all be strong enough to take care of him. Though deep in my heart I am still wishing for a miracle to happen but if that miracle won’t come, I am still grateful because we have him.

A lot of times I wish he is normal. But most of the time I am simply just grateful for his smiles and laugh and “beautiful eyes”.

To the little man who never fails to make me absolutely happy… HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY MY BABY!!! Mimi Ate will always love you. I promise to take care of you. And I promise to do everything to make you happy.

G.p and I decided to have a “supposedly” quick stop at the mall to have lunch. However, being me, we ended up checking out almost every stall.

Anyway, we passed by a little trinket stall that caught G.p’s attention because of an odd-looking star necklace. But my eyes got glued on their Mantra Bracelets! I saw something similar worn by a fashion-blogger so I was very eager to check them out.

G.p saw a bracelet that says “I’m a rock star.” so obviously, she got that one. She wanted me to have the “Blogger.” mantra bracelet but I really don’t like the actual bracelet design. I was looking for something that says FREEDOM but they don’t have any. The salesman was telling me to have a customized one but I need to wait for days. I was already disheartened when G.p told me that she saw a perfect Mantra for me. :-P

Guess what it says?

Yup! Mine says… “I’m a little rascal.” Do you guys agree?

Now G.p and I have a couple’s bracelet of some sorts. Sweetness!

A file from long ago, I just thought it deserves a place here. :) I'm sorry but I cannot remember where I got it so apologies to the original writer. ;-) oh well, they say it's from Einstein. But that I am not sure.

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.

The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being.

TO LET GO OF SOMEONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO STOP LOVING, IT ONLY MEANS THAT YOU ALLOW THAT PERSON TO FIND HIS OWN HAPPINESS WITHOUT EXPECTING HIM TO COME BACK.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness scare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow.

We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you.

Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is though everything is a miracle.



Albert Einstein
(1879-1955)

Was it Destiny that brought us together?

Or is it what you can call Serendipity?

Hypothalamus – (def. from www.fitbrains.com/science/more/glossary.php) A complex brain structure composed of many nuclei with various functions, including regulating the activities of internal organs, monitoring information from the autonomic nervous system, controlling the pituitary gland, and regulating sleep and appetite.

Heart – (def. from www.wikipedia.com) is a muscular organ found in all vertebrates that is responsible for pumping blood throughout the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions.

But I lacked the courage... I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating.

On May Day, just after leaving her fiancé, 23-year-old Evelyn McHale wrote a note. ‘He is much better off without me … I wouldn’t make a good wife for anybody,’ … Then she crossed it out. She went to the observation platform of the Empire State Building. Through the mist she gazed at the street, 86 floors below. Then she jumped. In her desperate determination she leaped clear of the setbacks and hit a United Nations limousine parked at the curb. Across the street photography student Robert Wiles heard an explosive crash. Just four minutes after Evelyn McHale’s death Wiles got this picture of death’s violence and its composure.

My Dearest,

Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you. As I lay down tonight without you in my arms again, I felt the pain searing into my every being.

Are you with her? Are you kissing her right now? Are you hugging her the way you used to hug me? Are you enjoying her company?

Maybe that’s why you forgot me. That’s why you’re not missing me the way you used to do every time you’re away from me. Maybe you’re having the time of your life with her. Too bad it’s not me you’re with. But it’s ok honey. It’s ok as long as you’re happy. I just hope you told me. I just hope you keep me informed. I just hope I am aware. But I am not until this morning.

Before you left a couple of days ago, you even told me you love me. I believed you then, even though I’ve been sensing something different from you.

I know it’s she you’re talking with every time you leave the bed at night. I heard you whispering over the phone. Giggling like a love struck teenager. I saw the spark in your eyes every time you see the phone beep signaling for an incoming text message. I know it’s her. But I didn’t say a word.

Those eyes that used to see only me are now sparkling for someone else. I know you used to love her and I can feel that you didn’t even stop loving her. And now that she’s back, I know you want her back to your life once again even though you already got me.

I will not stop you. If you think you’d be happier with her then go my love. Go to the arms of the girl you loved for so long. I thought I succeeded in making you forget her, but I guess I didn’t. You loved her all these years and you love her until now. And it breaks my heart to even just think of it. But as I’ve said, I’ll be happy whenever you are. I just hope you’d tell me and say goodbye to me properly.

I love you baby. I will always love you. I hope you’d be home soon. Our baby is waiting for you. Be home soon.

Love,

Your wife